Good day! This is Quartz News Network: HTML Edition.
Our gratuitous prime minister has announced that they,
through a mysterious source named 'Bluesky',
have found that an event named "BlanketCon '25"
is happening in the next monthⁱ.
It seems to be a convention about "mods", which seems
to mean things imported from the word of every author
in the convention.
Some of the mods are:
It appears that the incredible Ploopy504 has appeared
in CRSS and fixed the windmill at their farm!
In an interview, they've told us that they came back to help Rhys
gather information about their house, and since they were back here
they decided to fix their windmill, too!
Blurry met up with them, and helped with resources they had available.
Blurry also gifted Ploopy an elytra and fireworks, as the last time
Ploopy was here was way before those existed.
Private reporters have contacted us about the apparent
firing of the QNN (Video) Host, 'ThinkSeal'. We would like
to inform our audience that ThinkSeal is still alive and well,
and has not eben hurt or injured in any way.
We have found the alleged culprits of breaking
the Tall Sugar Cane in Panorama!
The XYZ Film Crew is being taken to court by Quartz
Industries Inc. for allegedly destroying the
oldest and biggest plant in the world.
We'll share updates soon.
We were testing the new autopilot feature of our helicopter,
and went to try and fly over the known nation limits.
This led us to discover the new Continent of Trench.
Trench has a single city inside it, Dema, but something quite
weird happens when we try to capture footage or pictures of it:
The Continent of Trench is over 14,000 meters away from
Toasteria, completely decimating TOA's northernmost status.
We have discovered that the Romanian Federation Of Minecraft
leader is extremely poor!
They barely have any diamonds, and not even an elytra!
This raises the questions:
We advise you to stay in Panorama, as we already don't
contain your silliness.
We know what is best for our people, and you should not worry.
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