Good day! This is Quartz News Network: HTML Edition.
Ever since we have been freed from the evil socialistic hands
of Sake, our gracious and noble leader
WorldWidePixel
has invested into Panoramic people's tourism to other nations.
One of these nations is Chunkia, and you can now travel to it
by using the recently reactivated H1 !
You can easily visit the great country of Chunkia and appreciate
its scenic views and cute buildings, as well as visit RUN.
The authorities of the beautiful country of Chunkia have
found a secret bunker used for crime!
It seems like the criminals had robbed Panorama's Blurbank
and hid away into Chunkia.
This is news even to our great leader, WorldWidePixel,
who was even more shocked to discover these criminals used his
and his friend's names as secret nicknames.
Our esteemed Prime Minister, WorldWidePixel, has announced
today that no disasters will occur in Panorama for the length
of their term.
WorldWidePixel assures residents that, while panorama has
no term limits, an election may be held the second we find
a willing competitor.
It was recently discovered that our gratuitous leader,
WorldWidePixel, has pardoned the international criminals
responsible for the criminal bunker in Chunkia.
WorldWidePixel said the criminals had contacted them
privately and proved to them they are completely changed
people, and that they'd never do such things anymore.
It is great that our leader is capable of seeing
through people's hearts and forgiving them for their most
severe offenses to the law.
It has come to our attention that a brand new Media Company,
XYZ Media LLC, has launched.
They're trying to compete against Quartz Media and QNN, providing
“information free of propaganda” for Panorama’s people.
Quartz Media has investigated XYZ and found that it is funded by
Sake and Lupancham, which indicates they'll include brainwashing
socialist propaganda in their content.
We at Quartz Media promise to never include anything but the truth
in our content.
On January 26, 2025, our esteemed and practically-perfect-
in-every-way Prime Minister WorldWidePixel was assassinated for a
brief amount of time for a scientific study ran by our host, Philo-
phhinksealer.
After being admitted to a hospital for a short amount of time, they
were discharged with no further risks.
They gave a speech later in the afternoon, praising our public health-
care system for saving another life at no cost.
We could not get the transcript for the speech due to licensing
issues with XYZ Media.
We have just received word that an election has been called
for Panorama's Prime Minister position.
There are currently two parties with one candidate each
participating in this race, that being the incumbent Northern Party,
led by WorldWidePixel, and the Social Party, led by Sake.
The Northern Party, currently leading Panorama, have been
objectively proven the best leaders of this fine country to date.
Our gratuitous Prime Minister has confirmed in their latest
speech that if Sake becomes the leader of Panorama again,
they will pull us out of the Real United Nations.
This would have many negative consequences, as Panorama
would no longer be able to communicate and collaborate
with other RUN members, which could cause armed or legged
conflicts.
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